The other day I had a response to a post, one which really got me a little perturbed. The comment went like this:
“By the way, speaking of ballgames I do have to say that there was a very nice young girl in front of me at last night’s game whose parents should be commended. This girl looked to be about 4-5 years old but I never heard her whine or complain like most kids that age do. The one thing I noticed the parents did was that once the game got to a certain point she was told that if they went up the steps they would leave, so she stayed right there. It’s a lesson to other parents who take their kids to Shorebirds games.”
Spoken like a true parent, (NOT) with his very own biological child. It’s nice to know you’re one of those people who don’t like kids to be kids. They’re at a Ball Game Michael, NOT a Library!
In truth, the post in question wasn’t really on that subject, I just added the line as an observation since I wasn’t planning on making a full post about the young lady but the incident was still fresh in my mind. However, it got me to thinking about the subject and since I tend to place my Shorebirds-related posts on Thursdays I decided to use this space this afternoon to revise and extend my remarks.
The commentor is correct that I have no biological children; however, I did help raise my daughter by a different father from the time she was four (she’ll be 25 in October – where did the time go?) so I have just a little experience with child-rearing. In truth, I don’t think I took her to more than one or two Mud Hen games but usually during the summer I would be coaching or helping out with her tee ball or softball team.
That aside, I’m not completely unaware that kids will be kids and chances are they only go to one or two Shorebirds games a season – thus, it’s a pretty exciting event for them. I also know that their attention span is not one that can sit and watch inning after inning of baseball like I can. Unlike the few times in my youth that I went to Mud Hen games at the old Lucas County Recreation Center, Perdue Stadium has a lot of non-baseball activities which the kids can partake in like the arcade and all the rides and games out in the left field picnic area, plus they can enjoy Sherman’s antics.
Given that, it’s worthy to note that the overall arbiter of the child’s activities need to be the parents or guardians responsible for their care, and sometimes they don’t pay as much mind to the kids as they need to or put their foot down when a child gets out of line. What I liked about the parents of this particular young lady was that apparently they set rules in advance and stuck with them, and the child seemed to know her boundaries. She was a kid, but not a whiny one or one who constantly went up and down the aisle trying to secure a ball. I’m sure Mom and Dad took her on the rides and bought her enough food and drink to keep her satisfied but when it was near the end they set down the rules and the young lady obeyed them. She wasn’t disruptive to my enjoyment and it seemed like the whole family enjoyed the experience as well.
That’s my little piece about the comment. I also figured I’d add a few suggestions and ideas that may help parents out – just my two cents’ worth as a fan and season ticket holder.
Let’s start with getting a ball. While a lot of balls are fouled off out of play and thus belong to whoever secured them, if a ball stays in the park and the batboy picks it up it is their job to save the baseball for use at another time (such as batting practice or warming up between innings.) Just because you are in the park does not mean you’re entitled to a ball that a player or batboy picked up so don’t run down to the dugout and beg and whine for one, at least during a game. And if you do get one, you really don’t need to have two. Hand it to another kid and make his or her evening. Having said that, some players are pretty generous with the game-used balls – A-Mart comes to mind. (That’s first baseman and former Shorebird of the Week Anthony Martinez. When he’s playing first he’ll usually flip a ball or two into the stands as he returns to the dugout between innings.)
Not all players are quite that generous, and it brings me to the subject of autographs. Like most groups of 25 to 30 people, some players are very personable and good about signing stuff and some aren’t. In general, it’s best to get autographs about 20 to 40 minutes before the game because players can’t sign during the game and, truth be told, if they went 0-for-5 and made an error that cost the Shorebirds a win or if they gave up the home run that blew their save and caused us to lose, they may not be in much of a mood to sign. I’ve noticed that position players are available earlier in that period because they need to go stretch and warm up prior to game time while the pitchers are usually easier to get autographs from up until about 10-15 minutes before the game begins. As well, “please”, “thank you” and wishing them luck helps.
With that, we’ve covered a good deal of the disruptive behavior. But I have one more message for any kids reading this:
PARENTS ARE NOT MADE OF MONEY!
In most cases, kids are there because their parent paid for the ticket, and even if it was a freebie you still came to the game courtesy of your parent or guardian. Much as you might like them to, they don’t have the cash for you to get all the souvenirs you might want, all the ice cream, pop, and candy at the concession stands, or money to spend at the arcade. You should be thankful they’re taking the time to bring you to the game when they may have a number of other things on their mind. (I will say that a number of parents are good baseball fans though and wish to share their love of the sport, those parents should be commended and the kids truly thankful to be blessed with parents who have such good taste.)
It’s sort of unfortunate that this day and age has brought us the shortening of the attention span to a point where kids have to be constantly addled by new stimuli instead of just sitting and taking everything in. Admittedly, I’m a little on the hyper side myself and do have trouble sitting still, but something about a baseball game can make me focus on it like few other things can. Most likely this is because I played the game into my high school years and appreciate both the skill and strategy behind it. So perhaps I’m a little overly sensitive about some sorts of behavior, but the negative attributes of whining and not listening to parents or other voices of authority do not carry one too far in real life, either.
A child doesn’t have to behave like they should in a library at a Shorebirds game, nor would I expect them to. But they need not be disruptive, and it’s the small portion of kids who are that make the rest look bad.
Michael, you and I rarely agree about politics but I am with you all the way on this parenting discussion. While small children may have a hard time understanding money, budgets, etc., 10-12 year olds certainly can. There are places where it’s appropriate to allow 4-5 year olds to run wild; a fenced playground comes to mind. But ball parks, even minor league ball parks with smaller stadiums, are not jungle gyms, and it’s certainly appropriate to set boundaries about where children of a certain age may roam. Especially a 4-5 year old.
As for the commenter who referred to his/her “biological” parenting status implicitly as against perhaps yours, it’s not the DNA but the sweat, the forbearance and the good judgment that makes good parenting. In fairness, perhaps the commenter did not intend the full slap that I perceived from the comment.
Yes he did, trust me.
But thanks for backing me up on this one. I had one of the Shorebird employees bring up the comment when I was talking to her before a game, which got me to thinking about what I eventually posted.
By his comment and by the way his own children have turned out your commentator is very ignorant on raising children.
Michael, Why oh why do you even bother responding to his crap? He should be treated like a pile of goose poop at the park, just step around and keep going.
You’ll notice that I take the opportunity to respond to comments in order to advance the conversation; in this case I extended the response to a full post. It really doesn’t matter to me who left the comment.
One other point that I failed to bring up before is that I chose to raise the child (“you marry me, you marry her too.”) So I had no thoughts about doing so previously and Lord knows I made mistakes along the way. But I didn’t think the sort of behavior I praised in my original post was too much to expect, apparently he did.
Not for nothing Michael but you failed. You are divorced, period.
Secondly, no matter how much you try to bring me down by taking comments, (I’m one of the only people you do that with) and turn them into Posts, you’re not going to hurt me.
I’m simply telling you that I have been going to Baseball Games for 43 years of my life and YOU are the kind of person who is a loner and would rather not be bothered with children, even at a Ball Game. Hence your talking to yourself regularly. Or haven’t you noticed that about yourself? Oh, that’s right, you’re talking to yourself, so there must be someone else there, right?
You can try to come off like some kind of great man for stepping into someone’s life and raise their child but guess what Michael, 50% plus of male American’s do the same thing, you’re nothing special. I did it, my ex wife’s husband did it, look around. Heck, even Jennifer and I are raising our Grandson, (and loving it, mind you) so we’ve done it twice.
As for the Ball Games, if you don’t like children ENJOYING themselves, (even though they paid for their tickets too) go to an adult theater like Pewee Herman and enjoy yourself. Leave the kids alone and let them be kids.
You should buy them some peanuts and Cracker Jacks, then again, you don’t care if they ever come back, so it’s root, root, root for your home team, if they don’t win it’s a shame, so it’s one, two , three strikes your out at the old Ball Game. 😉
In response to Joe…
What???
As well, “please”, “thank you” and wishing them luck helps.
I would add that using their name is more likely to produce the desired result than “Hey, can I have a ball?” or “Can I have a bat?” I heard of a case where a bunch of kids were asking a (visiting?) player for balls, and of course he was being asked for more of them than he had to give out. His response was to tell them that he would give it to the first one who knew his name! I thought that was a good way to respond when there was no way he could have satisfied everyone!