One of my best friends back in Ohio was a gentleman named Bob. I have him to thank for making me a dittohead since he made the little studio he and I shared with two other people a Rush room. (At the time, we called it the “Rebeldome” since it was at the south end of the building but separated from our main office at the north end. It’s called quick growth and needing space fast.)
Anyway, we lost touch for awhile but ironically it was Rush who brought us back into communication since he heard me on the program last October (my “big show business break“) and because of it he found monoblogue. Recently Bob passed along this e-mail to me and today was the appropriate day to publish it:
Greetings Mike,
I see from one of your blogs (or response thereto) that you now are a “public figure”. Congrats! Or condolences… whichever is more appropriate.
In review of your “leaving (most) of the lights on” blog, I felt compelled to bring you into the loop of a new way to measure your contributions to the earth. We call it “Cylinder Appreciation Day.” Quite simply it is our way of paying tribute to the wonders and contributions the internal combustion engine has made to modern society. But I did mention “measuring your contribution” didn’t I? Yes, that is where your own personal “Cylinder Appreciation Index” comes into play.
On the national “Cylinder Appreciation Day” one takes measure of all internal combustion engines within their household. If the total number of cylinders does not meet or exceed your chronological age, you are immediately to head off to your local Home Depot to buy the required gas-powered chainsaws, weed-whackers or other such equipment as needed to bring your CAI into good standing. In extreme cases we recommend heading off to the nearest Hummer dealership for those with large discrepencies in their CAI.
Personally I am proud to say I am good for over a decade to come…CAI of 53! Those twin-engined boats do come in handy!!!
Oh, by the way, Cylinder Appreciation Day occurs this year on April 22, 2008. In searching the calendar we couldn’t find anything of value being honored on this day.
Your NW Ohio bud,
Bob
You know, it’s pretty sad that I’m far short of that mark because the only gas-powered implements I own are my car and my push lawnmower. I have an electric trimmer but aside from that I’m just not much into yard work and I really have to stay away from things like boats, ATV’s, motorcycles, etc. because I’m sort of a klutz.
So my CAI is pretty low. However, I think I qualify for a CAI offset because I frequently attend places where dozens of kWh of electricity are “wasted” amplifying musical instuments to loud volume; meanwhile there is additional wastewater generated from the copious amounts of beer and spirits consumed by those in attendance, not to mention the hundreds of automobiles that converge onto the site of the concert in question burning gasoline. It’s a reach but if Al Gore can sell it so can I.
On the whole this is the perfect counterpoint to what would otherwise be a lovely spring day has become. Maybe I need to fire up the charcoal grill!
Thanks for helping to spread the word of Cylinder Appreciation Day Mike. This is far to good of a holiday not to spread nationwide.
Don’t worry about your CAI… some of your old Ohio buddies are more than making up for you. Just to keep up your end, fire up that barbeque after you’ve cut the lawn and blown the clippings from your drive.